It’s that time of year again – Halloween is right around the corner, and you still don’t have a costume planned. To avoid going as a ‘nudist on strike’ again or not even wearing a costume, you holiday ruiner, choose one of these options and get in the Halloween spirit!
The Government Shutdown
Commemorate everyone’s favorite petty slap-fight of this past year by going as the government shutdown. Throw on a few political buttons and wear a sport coat over pajamas to be a furloughed government employee. Spend the night asking those around you if they know of any nongovernmental job openings. If you want to take it one step farther, dress up as the Lincoln Memorial. All you need is a top hat and a beard, although you can go to the extreme and paint your face, hair, hat and beard white for a marble-like effect and hang a sign around your neck that says, “Sorry we’re closed!”
Miley Cyrus and the Wrecking Ball
Let’s just take a moment and thank Miley for providing so much material for Halloween costumes this year. This costume is best executed with a friend: Have one person be Miley and the other be the wrecking ball. For the Miley costume, wear a white crop top, white hot pants and heavy-duty work boots. Red lipstick and slicked-back hair complete the look bonus points if you carry around a sledgehammer the whole night and occasionally lick it. For the wrecking ball, poke leg holes and arm holes in a black plastic trash bag. Fill the garbage bag with objects like pillows or blankets that will help you to appear round, and then cinch the bag around your neck not too tight, of course. Get a chunky grey plastic chain from Menards and wear it around your neck. On Halloween night, have the person dressed as Miley ride around on piggyback on the person being the wrecking ball, with both warbling the chorus to the song as loudly as possible. The person playing Miley should work up a few lovesick tears for authenticity.
The Royal Baby
The whole world collectively “aww-ed” when Prince George of Cambridge was born this summer. Grab an adult-sized onesie or footie pajamas and a massive costume pacifier to pass as a baby. To make your costume royal, cut out a crown from cardboard and spray-paint it gold. Easy enough! Now go around the whole night bragging about your pedigree and demanding that people bow in your presence.
A character from “The Great Gatsby”
Whether you enjoyed the movie or not, Gatsby costumes are going to be big this Halloween. For the ladies, grab a fringed dress or your favorite LBD and pair it with pearls, fishnet tights and a feathered headband. Wear your hair in a faux bob or a low bun if you don’t already have a flapper-inspired bob. Dapper fellows should wear flashy suits and slick back their hair. Add a pinky signet ring and a boutonniere for true authenticity.
Group costume: boy bands past their prime
While we all screamed like fangirls when *NSYNC reunited at the 2013 VMAs, we failed to notice that the group is a little past its prime. And did you know that the Backstreet Boys formed 20 years ago? This should make you feel old. This year, channel your favorite boy bands with a ribbed tank top, chains and baggy cargo pants while adding geriatric accessories like temporary gray hairspray, fake glasses, drawn-on wrinkles and a cane. Bonus points if you can wrangle up a few hands-free microphones – you can also try making some out of pipe cleaners and aluminum foil!
Great places to find resources for all these costumes and more! are secondhand stores downtown and Ragstock. Borrowing from friends is also a great way to make a costume on the cheap.
So there you have it. Now you really have no excuse not to dress up this Halloween!
