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Heart Beat

Knowing where you’re at in a relationship is tricky. Take this quiz, and I’ll tell you exactly where you and your partner are on The Seriousness Scale.

Q1: You get a text from your S.O. It says, “Dinner tonight?” You…

A. Assume the whole friend group is coming along. Text the group chat, “What time works?”

B. Text back “Caf, 5:30?” (Because  we all know the Ole Choir rush is at 6).

C. This is a total date! Text back, “Chapati n’ chill?”

D. Are surprised they asked, but text back, “Sure, that’d be fun!”

Q2: The pair of you are going on a date this weekend. Where is it?

A. You’re going for a walk in the natural lands.

B. It’s a special night! They have a surprise planned for you.

C. You’re borrowing your roommate’s car so you two can go see a movie in Dundas.

D. You’re meeting for coffee at the Cage.

Q3: It’s 10:00 P.M. and you run into each other, both headed back to your dorms. You…

A. Walk them back to their dorm.

B. Say, “love you, goodnight” before heading back to your dorm. It’s a shame you two agreed not to do sleepovers on school nights.

C. Smile flirtatiously and ask if they’re up for a nightcap.

D. Give them a hug and wish them goodnight.

Q4: Your S.O. is sick. You…

A. Bring them some tea and cough drops

B. Cuddle with them and watch Netflix. You make sure to bring their favorite ice cream.

C. Hang out with them. Who cares if you get sick? You are a martyr!

D. Text them, “Thinking of you! Feel better soon!!! :)”

Mostly A: The We-Act-Like-Friends-But-With-More-Sexual-Tension Stage

You two do everything together. It’s a classic, “will they/won’t they” scenario. You somehow always end up sitting next to each other, and do that weird couple thing where you lean forward like the other person is a magnet. You think, “Huh, this isn’t how magnets work” but then you forget that thought because you’re staring at their mouth and OMG can they just kiss you already?!

Mostly B: The Toothbrush-in-Their-Room-And-They-Are-Your-Emergency-Contact Stage

You two have probably been together for a while. You trust each other and know how to take care of each other. No more morning breath kisses. Not that romance is dead, they’ll go out of their way to make any date what they know is your version of perfect.

Mostly C: The Cinderella-Birds-Do-All-My-Chores-Life-Is-Perfect Stage

You are both in love, and you are not afraid to flaunt it! The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. They can do no wrong, and the two of you are in bliss. I’m calling “Honeymoon Phase!”

Mostly D: The Maybe-Kinda-Sorta-Hold-Hands-In-Public-Sometimes Stage

You two both like each other, but you probably haven’t defined the relationship, you know? But you might sometimes kinda maybe hold hands when you walk to lunch together. This relationship is just beginning to bloom.

hawtho1@stolaf.edu

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