Graphic: Andrew Mazariegos-Ovalle/The Olaf Messenger
Love: it’s a complex feeling that almost all of us experience in our life starting early on as something silly to something more serious when we grow up. Love takes on many shapes and forms, but more often than not, love is more associated with romantic feelings. Love languages play a major role in those feelings, usually expressed to your partner through physical touch, quality time, or gift giving. Beyond just simple love languages it can be expressed through sharing one’s emotion in a safe space with your partner and setting boundaries in that relationship.
Now for me, at least, it’s quite ironic that I’m writing an article about love and relationships when I haven’t been in a romantic relationship before. I have had no bad experiences on past dates, no exes, nor any experience with really anything romantic. However, having said all that, I have had big crushes on girls in my life to share about and share my experiences with my form of platonic love and forms of self-love too.
Love is quite complicated for me as I identify as being sapphic, meaning I am attracted to women and people that present more feminine. Navigating my sexuality with feelings of love hasn’t been as bad as I reflect on it. Whoever I liked in my past already happened. I’ve looked back on who I liked and whether I actually liked them or if I just liked their company and the time we spent together as friends in those moments. It’s difficult for me to tell the difference between platonic feelings and romantic feelings with girls, and it’s something I still kinda struggle with.
I don’t really have a real “type.” A girl just catches my eye and feelings start to come up. Even when it comes to people I liked before, each girl was so different physically. It depends on how you are as a person to me that matters to me — whether you are kind, patient with me, encourage my interests and hobbies, support me through my extreme ups and downs, etc. It’ll never be one-sided either: I’ll give you anything you did to me back to you. Need reassurance? I’ll be more than happy to. Need words of affirmation? I’ll tell you anything and everything to make you feel better. Need to talk over the phone or want me to come over to you? It’ll take me a minute but I’ll be there in no time!
I’ve been working on waiting for someone to come up to me first, though, since I’ve always done that first when I like someone. So if someone likes me, I want them to come to me and tell me directly, because I can’t tell if you’re trying to be subtle — I’m pretty oblivious unless you tell me that you like me.
But I also enjoy it when I have someone who’ll be there for me and vice versa. I love the feeling of being with someone who respects me, likes my company, can laugh and joke with me, but who’s also there for me when I’m feeling down or when I need someone around.
I would be lying if I said that I don’t like someone right now, funnily enough. Honestly, she’s just such a sweetheart and she’s so kind and pretty too. She’s someone that I really trust and love to be around, and I just adore and appreciate her company so much. But it’s something I have to think about, if I actually “like” them or if I just like them platonically. I just really like them. They make me feel safe, they always make me laugh, they make me feel cared for, and they make me feel so happy. She reminds me of Mitski’s new song “My Love Mine All Mine” because she really deserves everything special in her life. Writing poems and making art is my way to show her how I really love her and there is just so much I want to say and do stuff with her specifically it makes me feel joyful. She is the most amazing, wonderful, and pretty person that’s in my life right now, and I won’t ask for anything more from her.
