Without the question being asked, I think hookup culture is definitely poisoning the water of the dating world and it is toxic to our generation. Honestly, I don’t like to think it’s unique to today’s day and age, but it’s been happening a lot more recently based on my personal experience.
I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t just hook up with some random woman for a one-night stand or be in a “situationship” with no emotional attachment. It doesn’t make sense for me to be with someone that I’ll sleep with once and really never see again unless it’s super casual, on-the-side sex. I couldn’t do it.
I’m upset that it is happening a lot more often in this generation. I don’t understand why people only want a hookup. Hookups happen more often on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, eHarmony, etc. What does this mean? More casual hook-ups and less meaningful relationships.
For me, if I’m going up to someone I like, I don’t just want to hook up with them. My approach to them means: a) I dared to go up to someone attractive, probably still stuttering when I talk, and b) I’m making the effort to go for someone I am 100 percent into, so I want to make this dating experience lead to something more serious. I want to be emotionally there for someone. I want to be able to let them into my life, my interests, my safe spaces, my favorite spots around town. I can’t do that with just a hookup. I can’t pour my heart into someone who doesn’t want to share their own heart and time with me. If I’m not able to have an emotional connection with someone, it’s not worth it. It’s never worth it if there is no real intimacy, no real bonding, and no commitment.
Why would I want my first relationship to be fake? I want my first relationship to begin organically through dates, connections, memories, communication, and focusing on being truly open to my partner. I don’t want to feel tricked into a relationship that will, in the end, just be a hookup. A hookup could result in my partner rebounding back to their ex or straight into another hookup. I know that I’m better than that and I deserve better. So please, if you want to start a relationship, look for the right person and ask them about their true intentions on a date. It never hurts to ask. Plus, with time, you will find someone who wants the same emotional connection as you. Looking out for yourself in the dating pool is a good thing too!
You’ll find someone great in this world. Don’t doubt yourself even for a second, ever. Someone might come into your life and change everything for the better for you.
Louise Skokan is from Minneapolis, Minn. Their major is undeclared.
