I want to preface by saying that I do not believe everyone goes to the gym to conform to unattainable beauty and body standards, but for the flawed people like myself who do, this article is for you.
Many people, even some of my friends, claim that they go to the gym because of their own goals that do not relate to the societal pressure to conform to certain beauty standards. This reminds me of my feminist friends who would say, “I think women should be able to grow out body hair if they want to, but personally I feel more comfortable without body hair.” They fail to acknowledge that the reason why they feel more comfortable shaved was, in part, because of the societal pressure to conform to those patriarchal beauty standards.
Assuming most people have goals of conforming to what is traditionally considered attractive, what is the easiest solution? Self improvement, or self acceptance?
Self improvement seems to be the obvious choice. Fulfilling those goals feels a lot easier than getting rid of the goals in the first place. It’s a process we have all learned about and we know the steps — go to the gym, eat healthy, sleep a lot, drink plenty of water, and develop those as habits. After doing this for a while, you should reach your goals. This doesn’t really work, because most beauty and body standards are unattainable. If it’s not your stomach, it’s your stretch marks, your acne, or the fact that no matter how skinny your waist is, it’s still not as skinny as the 25-inch waists that you see on social media. Therefore, the easiest choice should be self acceptance. Self acceptance is challenging as it not only requires a physical change, but a change in mentality. Nonetheless, even though it may be hard to stop feeling the need to fulfill those goals and conform to beauty standards, it is easier than attempting to reach an unattainable goal.
The real difficulty with self acceptance is reaching a change in mentality so great it makes up for the lack of change in the people around you. I remember when I was a kid and I saw someone wearing a crop top without having a flat stomach or shorts that made cellulitis noticeable. I always thought to myself that they hadn’t noticed these “faults,” because how could someone be aware of that and still choose to wear those clothes? As I grew up, I became that person who would wear outfits socially considered unflattering and when someone seemed to be judgemental of my choices, I would think to myself, “don’t worry, I know.”
It is important to acknowledge that there’s still a lot of societal pressure to adhere to beauty standards and that many times that pressure comes from romantic and sexual relationships. There is a notion that in order to feel desired, it is necessary to conform to those beauty standards.
Whether it be self improvement or self acceptance, the solution does not seem to lie within an individual choice but in a collective change in mentality towards self acceptance. We should not only accept ourselves but also reconsider our preferences and ability to look beyond what is conventionally attractive.
Coni Montes Valenzuela is from Santiago, Chile.
Their major is undeclared.
