Graphic courtesy of Andrew Mazariegos-Ovalle
Dear Romantic Messie,
I met my partner on the hill when I arrived as a freshman in the fall, we started dating in the winter, and now it’s spring, and we haven’t talked about if we’re going to do long distance or not. How do I bring it up? And what should I do?
Sincerely,
Wishy-Washy Ole
Dear Ole,
Obviously, there’s two options, and they stem from two different situations. First, I would ask, are you really committed to your partner? Not in a “will you cheat on them” way but in a “will you miss them when you’re doing something without them” kind of way. To me, being in love with a person is the almost inexplicable feeling that what you’re doing would be more fun if you’re doing it with them. If you don’t feel that feeling often, maybe it would be best to break it off. Or another metric would be to ask if there’s more ground to cover in the relationship, meaning, is there still a deeper relationship that both of you want to find? If there are still dates that you haven’t gone on, or questions you haven’t asked, and good times you haven’t had, and you both agree that you’re in this situation, then stay together! The summer is really only three months, which is just about 90 days, which is just watching all of “The Simpsons” 10 times.
You’ll miss your partner, but it’ll be worth it. In today’s connected world, there’s plenty of ways to stay in contact. But also be sure to set aside some time to do your own thing! Don’t be pining away, but live your life and tell your partner about it when you call.
Second, if the feelings are dead, the relationship is dead. Be honest when you tell them that you don’t want to have a long-distance relationship, and be sympathetic if they don’t take it well. But don’t stay in a relationship you aren’t happy with! Summer is around the corner and a different kind of adventure awaits you.
Sincerely,
Romantic Messie
